When Discouragement Lingers: How to Walk with Others (and Yourself) Through Seasons of Weariness
“The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit.”—Psalm 34:18 (ESV)
Discouragement touches all of us—whether we lead from the pulpit or sit in the pew. The ache may look different, but it’s universally human.
God doesn’t scold us for feeling it. Rather, He meets us with tender care. When others—including your pastor—are discouraged, you don’t need perfect words, but a compassionate heart that gently points them to Jesus.
Helping one another in discouragement is part of building up the body of Christ. Whether it’s a church member, friend or even your leader, we all play a role. Let’s consider what discouragement is and how we can walk through it with grace and truth—together.
What’s the Problem?
Discouragement often stems from unmet hopes, but not always. It’s a common experience in a creation that still “groans” for redemption (Rom. 8:22). We can easily forget God is near or mistakenly assume that He does not care, so we may drift away or pull back from Him. Doubts arise in the vacuum. We get spiritually numb. He may feel distant when the opposite is actually true (Rom. 8:38-39), which can add to our discouragement.
Ministry leaders are not immune. The weight of spiritual, emotional, relational, and vocational demands can drain us too. Isolation, shame, and pressure to perform can quietly wear us down. Though we affirm God’s grace, we may begin to operate as if ministry depends on us.
Because discouragement has many entry points, it helps to slow down and reflect. Consider:
What losses or disappointments have affected you recently?
What hopes remain unfulfilled?
When do you feel most drained or hopeless?
How would you describe your walk with God in this season?
Where are you turning for help, and who knows what you’re going through?
These questions won’t fix everything, but they can help you name what’s happening and bring it before God and others. As patterns emerge, notice where you’ve placed your hope, where you feel alone, or where you’re on autopilot. Invite a trusted friend into the process—they may help you see what you’ve missed.
If you’re invited to help, listen patiently and affirm their desire to endure in faith first before gently pressing into their misplaced hopes. If they’re having a hard time with expressing their thoughts, try using Scripture to help them put words to what they are feeling. Sometimes it can be just what they need to get started.
Where’s the Hope?
As we reflect on the above questions, we begin to see not just what’s wrong, but how Christ meets us—with compassion, not shame. Even when we can’t pray, both Jesus and the Spirit intercede for us (Rom. 8:26–27, 34). He never asks us to push through alone. In Christ, no sorrow is wasted, and no labor is in vain (1 Cor. 15:58). That promise can anchor us, even in the hardest seasons.
Like the psalmist in Psalms 42–43, we can speak truth to our souls: “Hope in God; for I shall again praise him” (Ps. 42:5). Even when hope feels out of reach, we are connected to One who is acquainted with grief (Isa. 53:3). Jesus entered our discouragement, and even in the tomb, God was fulfilling His redemptive plan.
Silence doesn’t have the last word—resurrection does. Likewise, even if nothing seems to be changing, keeping eternity in view (Rom 8, Gal 6) can help us keep moving forward faithfully.
Gospel hope can also shape how we walk with others. After listening well and naming their pain, we may gently offer gospel truth—not as a quick fix, but as hope to return to. If they can’t hear it yet, don’t push. Pray instead that God would meet them in His time. Presence, not persuasion, is often the greater act of love.
How Do We Grow?
As we name our pain, turn to the gospel for comfort, and reclaim truth, we begin to reframe weakness and recover purpose. This process is slow and rarely linear. In my own season of discouragement, it took years of help from three different counselors. Even now, I still need “spot checks” in persistent areas. But I’ve come a long way since the discouragement surrounding our daughter’s adoption.
Because discouragement often reveals where our hearts are hurting, it can also expose what we’re hoping in. In that place of pain, God shows us the lies we believe, the self-reliance we cling to, and the fears that control us.
Discouragement itself isn’t always sinful, but it can expose what we’re trusting in—and if left unchecked, may lead us toward sinful responses or beliefs like pride, withdrawal, cynicism, bitterness or unbelief. Prolonged discouragement can isolate and harden us. However, as we turn to God, He not only comforts us, He transforms us.
Thankfully, Christ has entered even these places. His grace covers our sins and meets us in our struggle. As we realign our hopes and anchor our hearts in eternal truth, discouragement becomes a training ground to grow in Christ—even when nothing changes.
How Can We Help Others in Their Discouragement?
Throughout this post, we’ve considered how to process our discouragement. Before we wrap up, let’s look at how we might help others who feel discouraged.
1. Recognize the different “shades” of discouragement.
There are nuances to discouragement. Some are simply disappointed. A gentle word and reminder to trust God may be enough. Others are wearied by prolonged setbacks and need patient, ongoing presence—not quick fixes. Still others slip into depression, where even daily life feels hard. If symptoms seem severe, medical or counseling support, along with practical help is one way to help. The deeper the discouragement, the longer it may take, so be prepared to invest your time.
2. Don’t try to fix them—but speak gently if sin is creeping in.
This may be the challenging part. Discouragement can harden into bitterness or withdrawal. We are called to both bear burdens and restore gently (Gal. 6:1-2). I have been on the receiving end of this done well and know it’s possible.
Questions like “Do you think bitterness might be quietly taking root?” or “How is your heart responding—toward God or away?” might be possible approaches that gently invite others to consider their responses. Though it wades into some sensitive areas, it can actually be helpful and encouraging when done with grace.
3. Pray for them—especially when they can’t.
Rather than rushing in to rescue, ask God to help you simply stay present and intercede as you listen. If you want to do something for them, this may be the best thing you can do. Abiding in Him and praying on their behalf is a powerful ministry that can bear much fruit.
Final Words for the Weary
Maybe you’re the one who’s weary right now. If so, I want to remind you: Jesus doesn’t wait for you to be strong before He comes near. He meets you in your weakness, and He gives grace upon grace. You are not forgotten.
Or maybe you’re walking with someone who’s discouraged. You don’t need all the answers. Rather, in love, bring them to Jesus—the One who carried our sorrows and still does.