Breaking Free from Survival Mode: A Call to Rest and Renewal
“Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.”—Matthew 11:28–30 (ESV)
Time can feel like a relentless tide, sweeping us from one crisis to the next. For many ministry leaders, “survival mode” begins as a short-term fix—a way to get through illness, transition, or ministry overload. But unless we’re careful, it can become the new normal.
I know because I’ve lived there.
In the early days of our adoption, Anah’s schedule ruled our lives—doctor’s appointments, therapies, and my constant anxiety over toileting accidents. Each day felt like an emergency to manage. “This is temporary,” I told myself. “We just need to push through.”
But months became years. Exhaustion set in. My walk with God turned into a checklist. I defined success as surviving the day, then escaped into Netflix at night to avoid my life.
When we live in survival mode, we’re simply reacting to whatever is before us, just trying to keep our heads above water. I smiled in public but felt like a fraud inside, ashamed for not doing better as a pastor’s wife. Not only is it exhausting for us—it’s costly to those around us, straining our homes and leaving relationships fragile.
Why Survival Mode Can’t Be Your New Normal
It’s important to say up front: survival mode is not always sinful. There are seasons when life demands all our strength—caring for a newborn, responding to a crisis, or shepherding a church through hardship. In those moments, pressing on can be an act of faithful perseverance under God’s sustaining grace (Galatians 6:9).
But left unchecked, survival mode can quietly become our default. Ministry leaders are especially vulnerable. The needs never end. The emails keep coming. The Sunday sermon arrives every seven days, regardless of what’s happening in your soul. What starts as a short-term push can harden into a long-term pattern.
Sometimes survival mode reflects a heavy season, but if it lingers unchecked, we risk slipping into self-reliance. Subtle idols and false beliefs can take root and quietly exhaust our souls, shaping how we live, lead, and love. Consider these common heart drivers that often keep ministry leaders stuck:
1️. Productivity says, “God won’t provide unless I keep pushing.”
“If I stop, the church will falter… people will be disappointed.” But Jesus says, “Your heavenly Father knows that you need them all” (Matt. 6:32). Resting isn’t laziness—it’s faith in action. It entrusts the church, your family and your life into the Father’s hands.
2️. Control whispers, “If I stop, everything will fall apart.”
We often feel responsible for holding everything together. When rest feels risky, we’ve likely confused our role with God’s. Colossians 1:17 reminds us: “In him all things hold together.” We are not the glue. God is.
3️. Approval insists, “I can’t let people down.”
We live in a world of expectations—from congregants, coworkers, family, even ourselves. “What will they think if I say no?” But Galatians 1:10 challenges us: “Am I now seeking the approval of man, or of God?” Carrying the weight of others’ expectations can subtly shift our focus from Christ’s approval to theirs, adding burdens God never designed us to carry.
4️. Comfort murmurs, “I deserve to escape.”
Sometimes survival mode isn’t about overwork but withdrawal—escaping to screens, food, or even sleep to numb the pain or our situation. But Jesus offers something better, true rest as we draw near to Him and receive the grace of rest (Matthew 11:28).
If unexamined, these idols can. shape how we live, lead, and love. They can keep us striving in our own strength instead of resting in Christ as we serve Him. But surrendering them opens the way to His grace and freedom.
A Mini-Retreat: Breaking Free from Survival Mode
If survival mode exposes our hearts, how do we move forward? Jesus invites us into something far better:
“Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me…for my yoke is easy, and my burden is light” (Matt. 11:29–30).
Here are some questions you might wish to use during a mini-retreat to assess where you’re at today and whether your survival season is slipping into a new normal.
Step 1: Recognize the Weight
Where are you “laboring” and “heavy laden”?
Has your “push through” mindset become your “new normal”?
Step 2: Discern What’s Driving You
Survival mode isn’t always about sin. Sometimes it reveals how fragile and dependent we really are. But it’s good to be aware of where we may be tempted to lean when hard seasons persist. Review the four common traps above.
Do any of these lies resonate with me in this season? Or are there some that are tempting for me to believe?
How is it shaping my rhythms, relationships and ministry?
What truths about God counters this lie?
Step 3: Reflect and Return to the Lord
If the Lord exposes where we’ve been relying on ourselves instead of Christ, take some time to bring your exhaustion, fears, and misplaced hopes to Him.
Pause and reflect:
What fears or expectations are keeping me in survival mode?
What might I be trying to control that only God can sustain?
Where do I need to lament this season’s weight, and where might I need to repent of self-reliance?
What would it look like to entrust this burden to Jesus today?
Then take time to pray honestly, for example:
“Lord, You see how tired I am. I confess I’ve tried to carry what only You can hold. Forgive me for trusting my own strength. Teach me to rest in You and lead me into Your life-giving rhythms of grace.”
Step 4: Rebuild with Gospel Rhythms
Breaking free from survival mode isn’t about doing more—it’s about anchoring your life in God’s grace. Even small, intentional steps can create space for restoration and renewed joy.
What would it look like to anchor your week in grace—not just efficiency?
What is one life-giving practice (prayer, Scripture, Sabbath, a walk) you can reintroduce this week?
What’s Next: Moving from Survival to Gospel Rhythms
Survival mode keeps us reactive, constantly putting out fires. But God invites us to live differently—anchored in grace, with rhythms that nurture faith, rest, and fruitfulness. For me, crafting small but intentional rhythms brought stability to our home. Even in the busiest seasons, they became a "home base" I could return to.
In the next post, we’ll discover how gospel-shaped rhythms can quiet the noise, anchor your soul, and help you love God and others well—even in a full season of life.