Clothed with Love: Building a Christlike Community
“Put on then, as God’s chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience, bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive. And above all these put on love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony.” —Colossians 3:12–14 (ESV)
How do we create a truly Christian community? David Powlison’s simple answer: We move toward people. But that’s easier said than done. What about the people in our circles who are hard to connect with—those who feel awkward to us, or whose personalities and preferences differ from our own? How do we relate to others generously so that we create a gracious culture?
As with all things, we begin by remembering the character of God. Before we get to the command of loving one another, we begin by remembering God. We remember how He deals with this broken world—not with cynicism or irritation but with a steadfast, patient, and kind love. We who seek to be His ambassadors need to be well-versed in who He is and know this personally in our own lives, that we might reflect that accurately to those in our homes, neighborhoods, churches, and job sites.
This is why we put such a premium on soul care for the leader here at OakHaven. How can we possibly reflect Christ well if we do not know Him, do not trust Him? If we are not abiding in Christ, we will inevitably attach ourselves to something else: the pull of culture, our own desires, or even a distorted picture of who Christ is. What we abide in will always bear fruit in our lives.
However, as we abide in Christ, His Spirit shapes us to reflect His nature. Our lives increasingly bear the traits Jesus displayed in His ministry: reconciliation, humility, repentance, joy, and gratitude. A genuine love for others develops in our hearts and this community shines as a bright light in a world that is growing increasingly dark.
This is the vision for the church—not only for ministry leaders, but for every believer who carries the name of Christ. Because we have experienced the goodness of God in our own lives, we want to be about His business. He loves the church, even in all its imperfections, and for that reason, we want to love likewise.
This vision is what drives our ministry here at OakHaven. Counseling and soul care are not ends in themselves; they are means of cultivating a people who live and love like Christ. Ministry leaders and lay believers alike are called to embody God’s communicable attributes—His patience, kindness, and steadfastness—in every relationship: at home, in the church, and in the world.
Colossians 3:12–14 captures this vision clearly: God’s chosen people are to put on compassion, kindness, humility, meekness, patience, forgiveness—and above all, love. This is the wardrobe of a truly Christian community.
Clothed in Christ’s Character
Again, Paul’s words in Colossians remind us who we are before he tells us how to live. We are “God’s chosen ones, holy and beloved.”
Pause and consider this: if you are in Christ, you are set apart and deeply treasured by Him. This identity is the foundation of our community. We belong to Him. We are secure in His love. Out of this confidence, we are free to move toward others with grace rather than suspicion, with generosity rather than fear.
Notice the qualities Paul lists:
Compassionate hearts—entering into the sufferings of others.
Kindness—actively doing good, reflecting God’s benevolence.
Humility—thinking of others above ourselves.
Meekness—strength under control, gentleness in action.
Patience—bearing long with weakness and failure.
Forgiveness—restoring brokenness as Christ has restored us.
Love—the crowning virtue that ties everything together.
Do these qualities sound familiar? They echo the fruit of the Spirit. They are not a checklist of virtues to master by sheer willpower. Rather, they are the fruit of abiding in Christ, who is Himself all these things. To put on these qualities is to put on Christ.
In other words, the very attributes God demonstrates toward us become the attributes we display toward others. Patience and endurance are not merely virtues that keep life peaceful. They are God’s own ways of dealing with a world that resists Him in sin and blindness. When we wear them, we show the world what God is like.
This is why Christian community is so compelling when it is lived out. It reveals Christ. It becomes a living apologetic for the gospel. And it shapes disciples who, in turn, move outward into their homes, workplaces, neighborhoods, and beyond with the fragrance of Christ.
Where Do We Begin?
So how do we begin to cultivate this vision?
Remember how much Christ has already given you. Let these truths fill your heart with thanksgiving. We want to serve out of gratitude, not duty. You are holy and beloved. Be willing to address those areas that rob you of your confidence in Him.
Start close to home. Practice compassion and patience with your spouse, children, roommates, or coworkers. This is where Christian community is forged.
Move toward others. Instead of withdrawing when people are messy or difficult, take one step closer. Listen. Pray. Enter into their story with grace.
Practice forgiveness. Where there is complaint, let there be restoration. Remember how the Lord has forgiven you, and let that fuel your forgiveness of others. A helpful book to get you started is Brad Hambrick’s book, Making Sense of Forgiveness.
Engage the larger culture winsomely. Use your spiritual gifts, talents, training, and skills to represent Christ faithfully. Speak the truth with kindness. Love your neighbor with creativity.
For those who have the opportunity to lead others, we can steward our roles toward this vision as well as we:
Keep the end in view. Even as we create programs, write sermons, counsel or train others, ask yourself: How can I help others move towards this community? How can what we do help form people who are clothed in Christ?
Model large-heartedness. Because leaders set the tone, consider your example. Do you relate generously, forgive quickly, and bear patiently with weakness? Our attitudes and actions will shape the culture far more than words alone.
Create structures that support grace. Besides teaching well, are we also equipping others with tools for listening, caring, and discipling? Consider building the rhythms of rest, prayer or confession into meetings or gatherings. At first, this may feel like it slows things down, but keep the big picture in mind. As we equip others to care, we not only share the load of ministry but allow them to also experience the joy of serving alongside with you.
This is not about heroics. It is about everyday faithfulness, lived with a large-hearted spirit. As each believer does his or her part, the church becomes a radiant witness of Christ’s love in a broken world.