5 Ways to Support Your Ministry Leaders
“Obey your leaders and submit to them, for they are keeping watch over your souls, as those who will have to give an account. Let them do this with joy and not with groaning, for that would be of no advantage to you.”-- Heb. 13:17 (ESV)
When I was in college, God called me into ministry. This was a hard decision for me, as I was headed for medical school. It also made things a bit hard at home too, as my dad thought this choice was a foolish one.
To be sure, being in vocational ministry is often filled with long hours, usually beyond the usual Monday to Friday 9-5 because that’s when everybody else is off work. There are hard situations you are called to bear: broken marriages, unexpected deaths, apathetic listeners.
But God is good too. Even if they are few and far between, the unexpected notes, members that become dear friends, and seeing God at work transforming a hardened heart or deepening the faith of one who suffers remind me that it is worth it. Over 35 years later, I don’t regret my decision at all.
Though we here at OakHaven are focused on ministering to ministry leaders, we also know it is not just our job alone. It requires the participation of all of the body of Christ. Those who serve on church staff will probably be the first to admit that they are not a cut above everybody else. I don’t want to be put on a pedestal. I’m sure I’m not alone.
When you’re in a leadership position, however, it is hard to let others know you need help. Sometimes, I even feel a bit guilty asking, believing that it is self-serving to do so. But when I think this way, I only serve to further the gap between me and others.
Over the years, however, God has shown me that it’s okay to receive help from others. In fact, it is a way we practice the truth that despite our different roles or positions, we all need one another in the body of Christ. Allowing others to bless me or my family has not only brought joy to us but also to those who serve us. This in turn allows us to continue serving “with joy and not with groaning.”
Here are five ways that have been particularly helpful:
1. Praying for Us Regularly
Interceding in prayer means we bring our leaders to God and remember them in our prayers. Because ministry is not a human endeavor, we need to rely on God’s supernatural power to do this work.
Not sure what to pray for? Scripture gives us some suggestions:
Uprightness and skill in shepherding others (Ps. 78:72)
A willingness to serve humbly, not lord it over others (Matt. 20:26-28; John 13:13-17)
Oversight of their own hearts as well as those of their flock (Acts 20:28)
Sober judgment of their role and responsibility as a member of the body of Christ (Rom. 12:3-8; James 3:1)
Commitment to equip the saints for the work of ministry, to build up the body of Christ until we attain to the unity in faith and maturity in Christlikeness (Eph. 4:11-13)
Protection from selfish ambition or conceit, looking to others interests before their own (Phil. 2:3-4)
There are many more things to pray for: wisdom, strength, discernment, and spiritual growth. Pray also for their families—spouse, children, or any loved ones. When in doubt, use Scripture to guide you.
2. Remember We Are Humans Too
There were times as a pastor’s wife when I felt rather lonely. I wasn’t sure who I could share my struggles with. That was something I had to work out little by little. I needed to find trustworthy and godly friends, and by God’s grace I was able to find them.
Sometimes those friendships were outside the church family, but it is even sweeter when they are among your fellowship. It was such a blessing to talk to women who cared about what was going on in my life and heart. They asked questions and then took time to really listen. They were not intimidated by my position and saw me as a regular person. Aside from praying for leaders, befriending them is a special gift that is just as appreciated.
Practical assistance, just as you would give to a friend in need, was also appreciated. We still need to eat, do laundry, and clean the house. We’ve had friends help scrub down our fridge and box up baby clothes. When we welcomed children into our family or my husband was recovering from an accident, it was good to have friends who knew what we needed and came alongside us.
When we were working with college students, one of the greatest blessings was their willingness to babysit our kids. Helping your leaders find space to take breaks and to invest in their spiritual lives and key relationships is a huge gift.
3. Show Appreciation
Though leaders aren’t in ministry for the thanks and appreciation, it does encourage us when we receive it. Some of the most helpful for me are specific words about what God is doing in their lives. I’m not really looking to hear how great I am. But as one who is excited about seeing God work and change others—I love to hear those kinds of stories.
So whether your pastor or leader shares something from the front or in a personal interaction with you, let them know how God used it in your life. Thank them for being a vehicle of God’s truth into your life. Share how it changed the way you looked at things or how you responded differently in a hard situation because of something they said. Praise God for the gifts you see in their lives and how He is helping them steward them well. These specific encouragements that give glory to God minister to us too.
4. Support The Vision
Many leaders and their teams spend a lot of time praying for the direction of their particular church. They consider the demographics, the community they are planted in, and the nature of their staff and members as they develop how their particular fellowship will follow Jesus’ command to make disciples of all nations.
Different churches may do things in different ways and one of the greatest gifts is being willing to be a part of your particular local body of Christ. While it may take some time to figure out how a church operates, what its values are, etc., start getting involved, even if it is helping to pick up after the service is over or wipe down the sinks in the bathroom.
This helps you remember you are a part of the team, not just a spectator in the crowd. Serving alongside with your leadership team is very encouraging, as it shows a willingness to act on your faith in the context of that community.
5. Address Disagreements with Gentleness and Respect
By virtue of the fact that we are not clones one of another, your leader is bound to do things or have a stance that you don’t agree with. This is something we need to know and accept, but ultimately we need to trust that barring a clear moral issue, God is at work in their decisions.
The most obvious thing is to refrain from causing division in the church because of your disagreements. We have seen this personally destroy not only a community but the faith of some of its younger members. We’re not sure if they have returned to God, much less the church.
Rather, if there is an issue that you must address, consider how you deliver your feedback. Ask questions to understand instead of making assumptions. Share with them your perspective, but recognize that it just might be that—your perspective. Ask God to help you see what has been good in their ministry and share that with them. When making suggestions, do so gently, kindly, and humbly, with constructive and specific ways to improve. If, after doing so and things do not change, consider if you are able to humbly submit to their leadership without causing division.
Conclusion
While your leaders may be called to shepherd the church, those who make up the body likewise have a special responsibility to support, build up and encourage your leaders as well. By praying, befriending, appreciating, supporting and offering constructive criticsm, we can empower our ministry leaders to serve effectively and joyfully.
Whether you’re part of the church staff or one who benefits from their ministry, your support can make all the difference. How can you intentionally support your ministry leaders today?